‘Aubade!’ by Olivia Heggarty
God’s terrors are marshalled against me. – Job 6.4
Good morning bright damp bedroom! Good morning bedmate! Good morning crumple of pyjamas on the bathroom floor! Right where we left them! Good morning Sunday morning shift! Walk past the old church to get there! Ghosts under my feet! Hold back those feet! Good morning shoes-wearing telephone wire! Good morning Buckfast glass-splintered pavement! Good morning, O sleepy Holylands! Good morning empty air! Empty sky! Empty earth! Empty hell! Oh, good morning empty hell! I loved waking beside you this morning! I fear you leaving me as much as I love you! Good morning Sunday purchase! Prawn salad and a flat white! And right beside the old church, too! Daddy says Jesus ate fish! Do you think you’re better than Jesus! I got thin and started eating life again! Good morning functionless pigeons! Good morning rainbow-reflecting office buildings! You sell me no promises! Good morning to the never-been-split sea I cannot see from here! I will never see you the same! But I know you’re there! Good morning girls still drunk and pretty! Good morning to your skin! Good morning to mine! Good morning body butter! Good morning vanity! Good morning selling it! I always wanted to be good! But I missed Sunday dinner! Good morning slow-cooking roast beef! I may never smell you again! Good morning old house! You may never love me the same! You may never see me the same! I may never be the same! You know where I am! Can you see me! I can’t see him! I can’t see him! Good morning fear! Hell has been replaced by something else entirely! Good morning street preacher! Good morning half-eaten kebab! Half-eaten rats! Half-eaten wasps! Good morning empty!
From issue 19: spring/summer 2025
About the Author
Olivia Heggarty lives and writes in Belfast. Her work can be found in Propel, Honest Ulsterman, Abridged and Skylight 47, among other publications.
